Have you ever had one of those nights where you literally wonder if you even got two hours of sleep the entire night? That’s been me the past few nights. Then we had appointments and errands during the day where my baby gets to sleep in his car seat while I’m trying not to look like the living dead in public. Everyone says to sleep when the baby sleeps during the day but that’s not always possible.
Last night was the third night in a row that I went to lay my head on the pillow and little man just started the grunt and whine. I try to get him in the bassinet asleep by 9:30pm, but due to being busy, it’s been pushing 11:00pm for a few days now. After my boyfriend and the baby go to sleep, I make sure my boyfriend has food for work the next day, I take a shower, pump and then get ready for bed so it is about another hour before I lay down.
After a long day yesterday, I was so ready to go to bed. It was pushing midnight and I was so sleepy. My little guy sleeps in a bassinet beside my bed because he’s only 3 and a half weeks old and this mama isn’t ready for a crib yet. Haha. Anyways, the second my head hit the pillow, he started grunting (he does that a lot) and stirring around. Sometimes he does that for a second and then he will get settled again, but it did not stop. He does not cry much, but I could tell he was just grumpy. So I got him out to settle him back down and his eyes were wide open. Once I was holding him, he was all the way quiet just staring up at my face. Then he smiled. I know newborns don’t really know how to smile, but it was still what I needed. It showed me that he just needed me. It melted away all of my frustration.
We spent the next few minutes just swaying back and forth and looking into each other’s eyes. I know that one day, he won’t need me as much anymore. I know that he will grow into a strong and independent boy, and one day, he will be a young man with his own dreams and plans. He will always need me, but in a different way. Right now I want to enjoy these small moments with just me and my little guy. These moments may not come with the best timing, but they are moments you should soak up and enjoy because they won’t last forever.
I just wanted to share my perspective because I know how tiring motherhood can be, but just remember our babies love us and need us. ❤️
